Only read if you are the correct age for your country! It contains explicit sex, violence, psychological and physical torture, and language. For all that time, I believed Santino Hassell aka Sonny existed. However, in early it came to light that he does not exist as his own human being.
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Trying to understand what to say or how to say it has consumed me and still, nothing seems right. I was blindsided by all of this. I truly believed he existed, because I had no reason to believe otherwise.
Having to rewrite that history in my own mind has been, to say the least, a feat. So if you only wonder about what I think regarding the three main questions:. I suspect only they know. They or someone did write the series with me, though, and we did spend a ton of hours on it. That, at least, I can verify is not a lie. As for whether anyone actually has liver cancer or other health concerns, I honestly have no idea. If you scroll down, the screenshots are of the confessions themselves.
But if you ask me if I think you should believe those confessions, yes, I do. The biggest reason is because when I ran across it, I was startled to see that parts of their stories were like reading something I had written myself.
If you want more information on any of this, you can read my much longer post. Some friends recommended I pdf it instead of putting it as a blog post for ease of reading. I found old journal entries that reminded me of how unstable I was at different times, how unhappy I was, how often I doubted myself in big and small ways. Writing this, and especially posting it, is difficult.
The way I cope is through humor and avoidance. I want to sincerely thank everyone who supported me both publicly and privately since this all came out. I greatly appreciate it; you are the reason I could get anything out even this soon, because you told me it was okay to take my time. Thank you so much for your understanding. I wish I had known, I wish I could have helped, I wish I had been capable of somehow stopping anything. Somehow, I need to take on this responsibility, find a way to help, find a way to make up for it to others.
I tried helping so many times over the years, and I was usually so unsuccessful. It turns out a lot of what I was told was at the very least misrepresentative, and in some cases possibly outright lies. I feel incredible sympathy for anyone who has been negatively affected by any of this. I truly hope you have been able to reach out to your support systems, and I hope you have gotten the support you need from them. Thank you for the time and energy you put into your love of it in the past, and I hope you can find something to balance this heartbreak so you can feel empowered moving forward.
Thank you for your kindness and patience, and thank you for continuing to believe in the story despite everything else that has happened.
I wish Sonny whoever it was had told me the truth from the start, or told me at any point along the way, because maybe some of this could have been avoided. Instead, I truly believed in him right up into Friday March 9, and had to learn the truth when he posted it online.
Or yourself. Love you, Ais! You are so talented and so kind. Just know that me and your other friends love and support you. I think ICoS is still an awesome story. Sonny actually made a comment on one of my reviews a few years ago that inadvertently revealed that you wrote my favorite character.
So you should still take pride in a story well-told. I will simply choose to believe that it was a great story because of what you put into it. Hi I am Erica we to you. You are stonger than you think you are. Thank you for giving your readers world and characters that can take them out if themselves and reality for a little while to help them breathe.
If you ever feel like you have no one to turn to IM me on facebook or email me. I can be your ear or shoulder or sounding board. We need more people like you who cares and is kind in this world. Old time ICOS reader here. Take care and all my best to you. Reblogged this on KC Faelan. My heart hurts reading your post and your longer post in particular. I am just so sad for everyone who has been affected. Absolutely none of this was your fault in any way.
I joined the fandom for ICoS rather late but it was very important to me it got me through a really rough time in my life and I have always gravitated more to your characters, Boyd in particular.
I know this may not mean much but I will always love your writing and I hope to read more of it some day. Your post makes me both sad and angry. I am sad that you felt you had to apologize to ANYone. I mean, dramatic much?? And may anyone who continues to create negativity surrounding this incident be Blessed to receive what they put out.
You just keep doing you, Sister. The readers will come. I found you. Others will, too. Now get back to writing, please. Thank you.
I hope you can pick yourself up again after this debacle and continue writing new great works. Either way, thank you for reading ICoS and reaching out! You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email.
Santino & Ais: Evenfall V01
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In the Company of Shadows (ICoS)
Years after the bombs of WWIII have changed the physical and political landscape, the Agency ruthlessly works behind the scenes to take down rebel groups that threaten the current government. Their goals justify all means. Hsin Liu Vega Sin is their most efficient and deadly assassin ever. However, he tends to go off on unauthorized killing sprees and somehow his assigned partners all end up dead under suspicious circumstances. That is why the Agency has had him locked up in a box on the fourth floor for years.
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Guest Review: In the Company of Shadows series by Sonny Hassel and Ais Nym
The completed series is available to read online for free , however, the authors have gone back and started revising the story. They say the plot remains the same, but they are tightening everything up. Then I can find some measure of closure and stop torturing myself and finally dive back into this beautiful world. The story tells of how two people who could not seem any more like opposites find common ground, themselves, and each other. Side note. Hsin Liu Vega—usually addressed as Sin, but often referred to as the Monster—is a 28 year-old one-man decimation squad and assassination team and has been on the road to his present self since he was eight. These two come together as one-third of an elite anti-insurgent team backed by a super secret government bureau posing as a branch of a pharmaceuticals company and known only as the Agency.